God has been nudging me, sometimes gently and recently more of a push, to share the insights and truths that I have learned on my walk with Him. I have shared bits and pieces of myself over the years, but it was always in a comfortable and controlled environment of close friends.
Sharing is dangerous. When you choose to open yourself up and pour yourself out, not everyone will like what you have to say. But God wants us to share anyway.
In March 2016 I visited my Gramie on her death bed. She shared many things, encouraged me as a mom and told me how much peace it gave her knowing that I, along with my family, love and follow Jesus. Of all the things she shared, this stuck with me the most. She started every morning of every day praying this verse.
“Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.” Psalms 143:8 (NLT)
She’d shared this verse with me before, but in that moment, knowing that these were the last words I would hear from this beautiful, faithful, follower of Jesus, I knew it was more than a lovely verse. It was a call to refocus my life on what mattered most to God. Not what mattered most to me, my family, or my future. What mattered most to God. And to let that guide me every day for the rest of the days I have in this life.
You see, we have influence. All the time, every day, we are influencing people. Our roommate or spouse, our kids or our neighbors, our co-workers or our clients, the grocery bagger or the frazzled mom at the park. We leave an impression on every person we meet and every person we meet was part of God’s design for our day.
The question is, are we leaving impressions that can lead someone to Jesus?
A couple of months later, I attended an IF:Gathering women’s event at my church in San Antonio (luminouschurch.org). At one point in the weekend, we were given a domino and asked to write on the back of it what God was asking us to do in this season of our lives. Their website explains it this way:
“Small acts of obedience to God result in the laying down of our lives, or our dominoes. What has happened over the last two years is that an army of women have been obedient to their call and it has unleashed others to do the same. The result is simply that God’s glory is on display through the laying down of lives in the midst of a generation of women who want to see Him move.”
I wrote on my domino, “Complete Surrender”.
Writing, sharing, speaking, and teaching have been long-time desires of mine but I always thought those things would happen later on. But later on is just that, it’s always later on and never now.
I’ve been reading a book with my sister Michelle (aka Pookie) that has finally pushed me to the point of surrender. It’s called, Make It Happen by Lara Casey, and it’s all about shutting down the fear that’s holding you back from doing what God has put in your heart to do. It’s about taking a leap of faith and trusting that God will guide your landing.
So here it is. My leap of faith. A blog.
It’s scary and dangerous and not everyone is going to like what I write. But I choose to make my impressions and my influence count for something greater than my own self-image. I want my life to point to Jesus. So I’m choosing to start every morning like my Gramie did for 87 years.
Show me where to walk, Lord. I give myself to you.